Vanity Fair...

Love me or Hate me, I'm still on your mind..
xoxo

Be yet wiser, SWOT analysis & scary clown(aka badut)...

Did I mentioned to you that I'm vain? I guess, I have established that at the very beginning, and its pretty obvious if you happened to be cruising at thevainsociety. Anyway, that is not just the flaw in me, in fact, if I would list all down, it should go on and on. With that said, just suddenly, it come to my mind the concept of SWOT analysis. Well, it is imperial for an organisation to conduct SWOT analysis, perhaps it might come in handy if we conduct a SWOT analysis on ourselves, just to be realistic to know where we currently placed ourselves?

I had this conversation with Marcella (she's from Rio de Jeneiro by the way) towards the end of this semester, after we have submitted our marketing assignment (BarclayCard- micro and macro environment; i know, its a bit boring). Being a matured student, such as ourselves, we tend to be overly critical of things, the fact that we have handed in the work didn't quite put our mind at ease, in fact we worries about other things. So, as Marcella and I were having tea ( God, I'm becoming more English aka boring!!) we started having this conversation about what we want to do with our lives and what could we do instead (classic example of level 3 insecurity, mind you, it comes with increasing age).

I did most of the listening (who said i don't listen??) which allows me to absorb most of the information and think thoroughly for a wise feedback (I know, I surprised myself too). It gives a sense of relief in a way, to know that I am not the only one having this constant dilemma, academic and career wise. Which evidently conclude that it is in fact a norm to have a self doubt on the things that we do. Is it a wise decision? Is there regret? I believe now, it is a part of the phase we went through in the path we have chosen. After that long deliberation on our inner insecurities, Marcella was being rather creative by suggesting on conducting a SWOT analysis on ourselves (we tend to relate the theory we were taught to the real world aka day-to-day life, perhaps age does helped us becoming wiser?). By listing our personal strength and weaknesses, presumably, it gives a strong indication on our opportunities and threats. Maybe it is a great idea after all, to conduct our very own SWOT analysis, at least just to go along with this hyper-active insecure mind.

And so, that is exactly what I did, after viewing my personal attributes, I started to look around me, as in the people that I know, or at least i thought I know. There are a few people which amazed me, the qualities and sensibility they possessed, make me envy them ( well, even though it is one of the 7 deadly sin, it could be manipulated for a good cause, i reckon). Perhaps, I should promote those quality in me and see if it actually would do me any good.
On the other hand, there are people that make me realize when I get to the same level or age as they are, I don't want to be like them. Funny how people behavior and attitude could really scared me. It is scary to see what rejection and loneliness could do to some people. By loneliness I don't mean being physically alone, as "this character" I have been observing get himself busy with social gathering, nightlife and so-called dating life. All the rapid ritual of new found life actually unleashed the true inner self. Of course, "that character" becoming more vocal, exposing 'I am surrounded by lots of people', 'we are the happening nocturnal crowd', exposing people admiration and the whole world should know that I'm desired; somehow or rather, what it actually reflect to me is, "that character" are lonely and empty inside. Being the bitch (if that is the vocabulary to insult me, my advice is save yourself from further embarassment) that expected of me, I did metaphorically tells "the character" how sad that is. But that only further the delusional aspect of age immaturely, even a sharp observer such as myself was deceived at first by that made out charisma. Its like watching a clown putting on a show, a scary one that is. And what does a clown, crying inside do to overcome the loneliness? Surrounded himself with more clowns.

Which conclude this post, I am not going to humiliate myself by turning into a sad clown, just because I feel like I'm dying inside, especially when I grew older. To "that character", thank you for putting that sadistic show, I learn from observing that. Life is scary, people taught us scary truth, and I'm not going to blend among scary clowns. Period!

P/S: I've always hated clown, ever since I read that Stephen King, IT
XOXO

Spot of bother!

Yey! its gone, well, at least for now, don't have to worry about the exams or stressing myself over the modules. didn't know i did pretty well to be exempted the whole year, maybe i have been rather nice this semester? well,at least nice to my standards. hmmm, i realized now, i'm on holidays! woohoo! do i missed KL? yes. do i want to go back, erkk, NO, at least not for now. i guess its social planning for the holidays. maybe i should get some(more) winter clothing, the one that i have are rather binding, its hard to mix n match (my vain part getting along well,oh yea). i think i'll do that, i must have a theme for this holidays. i'm thinking black...gold..blood red! Ohh, i wanna call 'fucking criminal', i'm imagining scruffy meet edgy. ok, project time! right bitches and SOBes, take care now, oh, and i like that new hairdo, its minimalist in a j'adore kind of presentation. laterz crazy beautiful!
xoxo
*this post are intentionally composed to sound stupid and pointless.. what?? i can be stupid at times you see, and i'm good at being one! and i just would like to add, Britney looses her mind, thinking of everyone want a piece of her? yea, lets see her transition to a delirious clown*

World, hold on...

i'm tired of being vain sometimes, its rather time consuming...
but i can't disregard the essence of it in my existence, that would be self loathing, and i am seriously involved with myself, more than anyone i've crossed path. sooner or later people will realize, that selfless act lead to selfishness. justify this though, is it considered socially crude to ignore those who are supposedly dearly, the moment reality in front of me ignites inner devotion to put them aside and focus on the jolt i'm feeling at the moment? it is after all, promising me that desirable future, where and what i want to be. those who truly set me free, answering to that calling, i'll held you close in my heart, no matter how fast or distance i am. sadly, those who grudgingly poise the execution of my chosen departing, warily defuse my steady momentum, and i have a schedule to run, and this time around, i refuse to make that journey longer, and everytime it bothers, i have to double my speed, and mind you, i could be running out of energy. so, let me free, and let me stay vain, let me have what i want, and i'll be complete when i'm back again. don't make me remind you, it was the world that i was released into, make me the way i am, i'm done with the adjusting period and mopping around with the unjust, i'm moving forward, so, if none of you are with me, i have to rely on God, even though God most likely have slightest favor in a discord person such as myself, but i still have faith. no more blast from the past episode...

Romeo must die

“what would you do, to get to me, what would you say, to have your way” everyone are reaching out to someone, whomever their heart choose. The reasons being? The questions of random hearts are a real motherfucker, too precise, yet contradictive, ones can never tells accurately. How I wish sometimes things are straightforward and vibrant in color like it was in ‘wonderland’, well the journey might have been narrow and twisted, at least in the end it was worth it, confronting the ‘Queen of Heart’. Well, you should get the idea by now that I’m obsessed with “Wonderland”, but that is another story..

My heart hardly spoken to me these days, I figured, why should I wait for the right signal, when everything is ever so clear right in front of me. And the reason I have been hesitating so much is, #@#$%**@$$#%&** shit I can’t put it into words. What the hell??? This is madness; I wish the mad hatter could lend me his point of view. I have qualify myself as an irresponsible bloggers by intentionally forged an attempt of abandoning my blog, and this post supposed to be justifying the long silence? Ok, let me just finish off this chaotic in-sight and regain the appropriate momentum for blogging. I wonder how long would that be? Well, the fact for that matter is, I have been in a transition of adjusting myself to London lifestyles, I touched down Heathrow on September 24 2007, and its been like what, 3 month since, I’m still in this ‘trance’ state. I shall update on how is has been like from KL to London scene. Like I said, when I paced myself back to descending momentum. Till then, play safe bitches and SOBes, ooh, by that I mean, condom and contraceptive pills! XOXO

p/s: I have a point when I was writing the first paragraph, but I kinda lost myself halfway in the second paragraph. I promise I shall justify my point to “Romeo must die” when the ideas popped in my head again. So, at the moment lets just stick to the title purely because I feel that its catchy!

*Revolting Tales*

Once upon a time, there was a boy, born innocent and bright. As an adolescent, he dreamed of life would come out in a perspectives manner, resulting hapiness, or the way he sees it, a wonderland. As years passed, and reality place in motion, he realized that 'wonderland' has the most twisted outcomes in store. It was fun to see through an innocent child eyes, but as mistakes keep taking charge, then adulthood means to constantly doing sins, he began to have a reservations, maybe its a bad idea after all to follow the white rabbit? Hanging on to that thoughts, the rabbit just keep on moving forward, while the boy was left behind, plummeted in the chaos of the reality of wonderland. He has been in that state for timeless it seems to him, observing all kind of characters, in returns, demand his sanity, then he started to lose control. And the dreams fortress he begin to build since a child, begin to rumble, slowly, but painfully. Then one day, just as ordinary as others, he found a desire, well not that he haven't found it in another person before, but that day, he feels as the 'light' that he thought had lost forever, seems to be restored. Although, throughout the negativity that often reclaiming its showtimes, he locks his heart, and denied love, that seems to be necessary to most around him. He is thankful that God has allowed his desire to erupt, that day, that it left him the true feeling of freedom, which is having the most important thing in the world without owning it. Considering the way that 'wonderland' has been so far, one happy day is almost a miracle! Then is was taken away from him. So, the question is, how does a boy, thrown into a rabbit hole, bombarded with all the chaos and encountered with those demanding characters, come out fine? And the answer is, he doesn't. He becomes evil, intimidating, envious and dangerous, the rest are history!
XOXO
-dedicated to future doctors! mends those unwell heart

Stripped pt.2

sorry if i ain't perfect, sorry i don't give a fuck*
sorry i ain't not even dandy, sorry just know what i want
sorry i'm not a virgin, sorry i'm not a slut
to all fellow dreamers out there, i'm with you
all my underdogs, i feel you
lift your head high and stay strong, keep pushing on...


Yes, so, I seems to be neglecting this online blog for a while now, but i'm not actually sorry for being busy in the reality world. I’m sort of embracing my final weeks in KL, before leaving this city, again..

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Cupid 112

Girl if I told you I love you
That doesn't mean that I don't care, oooh
And when I tell you I need you
Don't you think that I'll never be there, ooooh

[1] - Baby I'm so tired of the way you turn my words into
Deception and lies
Don't misunderstand me when I try to speak my mind
I'm only saying what's in my heart

[2] - Cupid doesn't lie
But you won't know unless you give it a try
Oh baby, true love
won't lie but we won't know unless we give it a try
give it a try

Girl when I ask you to trust me
That doesn't mean that I'm gonna cheat on you
Cuz I'm gonna never do anything to hurt you
Or mislead you, I love you


Ain't no doubt about it
Lord no, I really mean it
I rather die before, before I lie to you
Never wanna leave ya
Ain't no life without you
Never gonna leave, never gonna go, no
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, ohhhh

Ruthless people...

Is it true that we, the vain society are the ruthless bunch in the society? We are primarily derived to the attention that we get, both positive and negative, as long as we hit the spotlight. The fact is, it is not easy to be on the spotlights, especially if we are looking at being known through our noble act or outstanding achievement, lets face it, not everyone is fortunate in that sense. So, the fast lane ticket, to achieve our obsession is simply by being ruthless, does that make any sense?

How shall I put it, urmm, raise up your hands if you ever intentionally do something merciless or plain cruel to others and end up feeling superior with yourself? I myself to certain extent felt a jolt of excitement and satisfaction that in return neglecting the adverse on the innocent being, what more, I think they deserve it anyway, isn’t that demonstarate the act of ruthless? For starters, it does fall under the descriptions.

I feel that the primary act of cruelty amongst us, methaphore of a big circle, of nature ways to get everyone a fair deal, I fucked you, you fucked him, he fucked her, and she fucked me, and it goes around and around, so the words what goes around comes around easily fit in here. The thing with this kind of deal, it does attract the awareness of the populace and they came driven to it as well, isn’t that what we want?

Although, do you agree, if I say that our ruthless behavior are associated with our own insecurities and frustration, that we were once hurt, and we want others to feel our pain coz sharing pain are not gratifying at all, so we need others to feel and getting hurt like we did, and that give the impression of equality. The more we are screwed, the further we want to get even. Is it relevant for me to say that we the vain society still people of the world, do our thing, get hurts, only our way of getting even could be controversial?

This totally came out of nowhere, but do you know those days of roman empire, where gladiators are the source of entertainment, the crowd at colesseo, goes completely crazy over the brutality and violence amongst those men, and do you know there was only 2 percent chance of survival out of that sadistic entertainment. I guess, the history kind of revive its content, maybe with a different face.

So, bitches and SOBes, who do you fucked recently? XOXO